Dirty Joe Sanchez

So when Corey got his face split open by the Greek via a helmet being thrown against his nose, Joe got off the ice and took Corey to the hospital. Corey waited eight hours to be taken care of at the emergency room of the county hospital because he didn’t have health insurance. Joe came to learn that not only did Corey not have health insurance, he didn’t have a job and was living out of his Cadillac in the parking lot of the rink. Corey had a job as an early morning DJ’s side kick that would show up at popular bars, pass out radio station T shirts, dance around and take his clothes off. Corey got fired from that job. He then got on Fear Factor and bailed out on eating worms while being suspended from a helicopter some two hundred feet above people who were staring up at him from the street. Corey explained all this to Joe while they sat together in the waiting area of the emergency room. A thought suddenly came to Corey and so he asked Joe a question.

“You’re not a fag, are you? If you’re hanging out here thinking your gonna suck my dick or I’m gonna put it in your ass later, I just want you to know that I’m in no way into dudes. In fact I look at dudes after hockey and wonder how it is that we ain’t all lesbian… So you can go if you think some shit like that is gonna happen.”

Joe explained that he liked Corey as a player and wanted him to help him get better. Joe was a recently divorced father of two that took up hockey because it looked fun. Joe had the inability to get the puck and think quickly about his options. Do I hit one of four other guys? Do I shoot? Do I skate around until my options become clearer? Joe usually got the puck and fired a slap shot blindly towards the opposing goalie. Joe only wanted to play left defense but had difficultly skating backwards and moving laterally. Out of frustration, guys disliked Joe. Joe looked a lot like the old television star Eric Estrada who rode a cop Harley Davidson in the show called CHIPS. Because of Joe’s Latin extraction, he was named Dirty Sanchez, Cry Baby Joe, fuck nuts, dick head and so on. The fact that most players thought Corey played without thinking and that Joe felt he would be a good mentor, told everyone what they already thought- both were dumb. One was dumber.

Corey moved in with Joe and moved from the Cadillac to the couch. He watched a lot of wrestling and boxing and sometimes ice hockey. Corey made smoothies and slopped up the entire kitchen. Joe gave Corey a job, they played hockey and lived together. They went out and drank together and everything was going well until Corey became born again Christian, met a rich woman who married him, moved him into a small mansion, bought him a Cooper Mini and gave him enough pocket money to buy elaborate lattes, workout daily and play ice hockey. The only players quirkier than Corey or Joe would be goalies and every one of them was quirkier than the common man.

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